Car Crash Lovers & Angry Sunsets
by Jessica-Doom
Summary: What if Lily and James Potter really did die in a car crash? Can old friends get over regret and resentment seventeen years later to give a child the life she deserves?   -AU, nonmagical world, slash elements, rating may change-
1. We Are Lost In Your Mistakes

**We Are Lost In Your Mistakes**

"Remus! Love, where are you?"

Looking up from his housewife-like duty of folding clothes, the man searched for the direction of the voice. "Laundry room." He set aside a finished basket and picked up another. The excited tone only appeared to make him slightly upset. What was so damn amazing that she needed to shout?

The woman seemed to sense this in her husband's voice. She turned down her level of happiness upon finding him. Arms crossed over her chest, she cleared her throat. "I have good news…."

Whatever it was, Remus didn't seem to care. He continued on with his folding, pushing overgrown hair from his eyes. Asking what this good news wasn't even worth it. He wanted to get his work done, for dinner needed to be started soon.

"It's…. It's about our baby situation…."

This did catch the man's attention. He raised a brow, looking up at her swelled belly. This was important, then. In two months' time, they would need to decide what was to be done about the child to come. Up until now, they had been at a loss for what to do. It wasn't like they could afford a baby in their state. An answer to this would really save them a lot of worry. And fights. "Go on, then, Dora."

With a small sigh, Nymphadora walked closer to Remus and took his hands. She forced him to put down the clothes and face him. "Look at me, Remus. This is important. Please." She let loose with a small, sheepish smile, hoping to catch his eye.

It worked for a moment. He put down the shirt he was working on and stared down at her. But a moment of silent gazing was a moment he didn't have. "I'm listening, Dora. Go on."

Though it wasn't the full on attention she wanted, Nymphadora continued anyway. "Fine," she said, pulling back and helping her husband with the folding. "I visited my parents today on my way home from work. They gave me some refreshing news. Someone in the family is looking to adopt…."

"You should have told me you were stopping off on your way."

"That's beside the _point_, Remus! Just listen, please." She looked visibly upset as she pounded her fist upon the dryer. Married a year and they already fought every night. This was getting ridiculous. Something needed to be done about it. The main stem of their most recent bouts was this surprise pregnancy. Something needed to be done before they tore their marriage apart with it. "I was just trying to tell you that…I found someone willing to take our baby. Someone more than capable. And they're in the family, so I think I would feel more comfortable this way."

Remus looked up again, then down swiftly. He wasn't exactly for giving his child away. He had waited this long to be married. Why did have to wait even longer to reproduce? Yes, they couldn't afford it, really, but at the same time…. "Who is it, then?" he asked, trying to push aside his hurt feelings.

"It's my cousin, Remus. It's…it's Sirius."

A swell of anger overtook the man and he turned on his wife. "I will _not_ have it! My daughter will _not_ be going to live with that _murderer!_ End of discussion." Abandoning all hope at concentrating on the clothes, he stalked off into the kitchen. It was getting quite late. He really should start dinner. If anything, it would be a welcome distraction.

"But, Remus–"

"NO!"

Not even the sound of tears from his wife brought Remus to reconsider. He pulled down a pot and began boiling water. "Set the table, will you?" he asked, changing the subject.

Nymphadora sniffled and wiped at her eyes. She pulled plates down from the cupboard and set them on the table with several loud _thunk_s. Several times while setting up a few others things she opened her mouth to say something. But nothing came to mind, so she shut it once more. Though she so badly wanted to stick to her resolve, she just couldn't stand up to her husband.

* * *

><p>The rest of the night passed in a blur of silence and resentful looks. Neither dared bring up the subject again, knowing it would only end in a row.<p>

As the two got ready for bed, however, Nymphadora couldn't hold it in any longer. She had been gathering her resolve all through dinner and their nightly television programs. When they were lying in bed with the lights off, she finally felt courageous enough to say something more. This wasn't something she was willing to budge on. Not this time. "Remus…dear?"

A wary grunt came through the darkness from beside her.

After a deep breath to steady her, she went on. "I…I'm not going to be swayed on my decision. I'm giving this baby to Sirius. He and his partner…they deserve a child of their own. And we can't take care of–"

"Nymphadora…please shut it. Go to sleep. And don't bring up this issue again. Find someone else. I just won't have it. Not him..."

"This is my child! _My_ body! I will do with it as I wish, Remus. If you won't follow along with my decision, so be it. But that won't change my mind." Fuming, the woman threw back the covers and pushed Remus out of bed. He fell with a loud noise onto the hardwood floor, crying out in protest. She reached over for the lamp, turning it on and crossing her arms in the light. "I suggest you go sleep in the living room until you learn to get over your petty grudges. That was seventeen years ago. Time to move on." She threw his pillows down after him, set in her decision.

A little stunned, Remus just stared up at her. He didn't expect such indignation from his own wife. After a moment of recovery, he stood and brushed himself off. "Fine... I'll see you in the morning, then." He grabbed his pillows and a blanket, leaving the room. His final word was a loud snap of the door as he left.

As she had done many times before, Nymphadora cried herself to sleep. She cradled her stomach like it was all she had left. If only things could return to normal...

* * *

><p>"Thank you very much, Sirius. See you tonight... Mhm, love you, too."<p>

Hanging up the phone, Nymphadora smiled to herself. He continued making her second lunch and took it out to the living room to enjoy. Remus was still sitting in the same spot on the couch that he had all day. With a gritting of her teeth, she tried to overlook this. Nothing was getting done in the house. That was his job to do and he was moping instead. "Oh, grow up, Remus. You're a grown man. You can handle getting kicked out of the bed for one night." Her hormones were acting, causing her to be crankier than usual. Hence the reason she was so relentless towards her husband.

The man looked over from the television, eyes dry and red. It looked as if he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep all night. He sighed and shook his head for a moment before looking away. It was like he had decided this issue was no longer worth it. He didn't want any part of it.

"Remus..." Nymphadora scooted closer to her husband and rested her head on his shoulder. "Remus, please. I've asked Sirius and his partner over for dinner…. It would mean a lot to me if you…if you would be on your best. Put aside your differences. Just for now, at least." She gently touched his chest, rubbing it to try and calm him. "Please."

Remus was done with fighting. He shook his head once again and tried to look anywhere but at his wife. He was close to giving in and just letting her do what she pleased. Yet, there was still something about all of this that bothered him. He wasn't comfortable with her decision. And it looked as if she didn't care. She was just so set in her ways…. "Don't expect me to make nice with him."

A wide grin split Nymphadora's lips and she threw her sandwich off to the side to hug her husband gratefully. "Thank you, love. This is very important for us. For them, as well, you know. I just want everything to go smoothly."

"I can promise nothing." Remus let loose with a yawn and kissed the top of his wife's head gently before standing. "I'm going to take a nap…. Wake me before they arrive later." He looked dismal and unhappy. And as he lay in bed, thinking, he couldn't help but to be a tiny bit excited. Though, it was hard to tell this feeling apart from the immense irritation built up in him at the mere mention of his old friend. Even if he had recognized it, he would have no idea what it was for. There was no reason why he should be happy to see this man tonight. None that he wanted to admit, anyway.

* * *

><p>Around six that night, a chime of the doorbell alerted the couple to the arrival of their guests. Nymphadora squealed happily and answered with a loud greeting. "Sirius! Oh my goodness, it's been too long! You look good. Do come in, please." She sounded like a bundle of nerves and delight all rolled into one spry brunette.<p>

"Wow, Tonks. Nice little cottage. The view outside is…is beautiful…."

"Oh, thank you. But you don't have to lie, darling. We know it's not much here. But…it's all we can afford, you know…."

The conversation sounded tense as it fizzled out. There were only two voices, but Remus could hear three sets of footsteps from the kitchen where he was cooking dinner. The third person was the "partner", most likely. The male Sirius had decided to settle down with. The man scoffed aloud at the thought of it and crossly slammed a pan down on the burner.

"Yeah, go on into the kitchen. Remus is just making dinner."

Fear crossed into Remus' heart as his eyes flashed open. He made a point of turning away from the doorway while he prepared. He couldn't face the other man just yet. It didn't feel right.

A pair of the footsteps stopped in the kitchen behind him. He could feel eyes on the back of his head. Probing grey eyes. And a smooth, husky voice matched them as it spoke to him. "Hey, Remus…. Long time, no see, huh?"

His own blue eyes narrowed. He didn't respond or even make a gesture of acknowledgement. All he did was continue to make the casserole as he would when alone.

The man behind him seemed to fall in spirits. The timbre of his voice was hollow when he again ventured to speak. "Uh…thanks for the invitation. This means a lot to us. And, uh…anyway…. Dinner smells good. I'll leave you to it, I guess. I brought some wine, though. I'll leave it right here…on the counter. Thanks again?" With that, Sirius left with a soft step. It was like he felt ashamed even standing in Remus' presence. And he should. It had all been his fault, after all.

And the wine only sealed the wrath Remus was ready to inflict on his old friend. It was wrong, that man bringing alcohol anywhere. He didn't deserve to be happy or enjoy such social graces. Not with alcohol; not with wine.

Laughter sounded from the living room while Remus finished cooking. He threw everything in the dish and threw it in the oven. Except, now he had nothing to do to keep him busy. The table was set, the food was made. What else was there to do? He needed to stay busy in here!

"Remus? Love, come join us out here," Nymphadora called out. The man stiffened and looked around the kitchen once more. He was trying to find something that he could do for a few more hours. At least until dinner started. But all he could find is a few crumbs to wipe off the counter. The counter that had the bottle of wine sitting upon it. He looked the alcohol over, noting the significance of it. It was the same one he'd seen in the past. The one that had gotten them into this mess….

Glaring, the man went to throw the bottle away. But this corner of the kitchen was easy to see from the other room. His wife grinned and said gently to him, "Bring out some glasses as well. We'll have the wine together." Her short, brown hair was out of her face. Because of this, he could see that she meant for him to be on his best, as she had said earlier.

"I'll be there in a second…." Remus did as he was asked and grabbed their cheap wine glasses from the table. He took these and the wine out to the living room and sat next to Nymphadora. They were on the couch while their guests faced them from the arm chairs. He didn't look up at them, not wanting to know who Sirius was with. Not wanting to see that he was there with some man. Not wanting to see him, either.

"Hello, Remus."

The familiar voice was one he wasn't expecting. With a deep frown, Remus actually raised his eyes to see the men across from them. This was the last person he had expected to see with his former friend. "S…Snape?" he said softly and looked between the two. They were holding hands as they sat there, apprehensive looks upon their faces.

"I prefer Severus…but yes," the man with the long, black hair said quietly. His eyes were a little cold while he looked over at a past enemy. This meeting was getting more difficult by the minute.

Trying to take this in, Remus changed his gaze so he was looking at Sirius. There were a million questions apparent in that look. He was so confused and just a little hurt. This wasn't how it was all supposed to go. He cleared his throat, reaching over to pour their glasses of wine with shaky hands. "Mhm…." He couldn't think of anything else to say.

Nymphadora could sense this and luckily she knew what to do. Smiling over at her cousin and his partner, she said, "I'm so glad you're willing to take our child. As you can see, we just…can't handle it right now. But…we were too late to abort it when we found out. And…giving her away to a stranger would be much too difficult. I wouldn't be comfortable with it."

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. But…did you say 'she'?" Sirius leaned in closer towards his cousin, an eager gleam in those colorless eyes. "That's amazing. We both wanted a girl. This is like…it's like fate!"

A loud shattering noise broke through as Remus dropped the wine bottle. He felt disturbed and sickened by the sudden thought of this. The red liquid dribbled out over the carpet, causing him to let loose with a few choice swears.

"Remus, please," Nymphadora whispered and rested her hand on her husband's knee. "It's okay, really. I'll go get a towel to clean it up." She hurried off as fast as her pregnant form would allow to the linen closet.

This left the three men alone in the room together. Each one more hesitant than the other. Sirius swallowed hard as he stared across at someone he used to share everything with. Remus caught him doing so and sat back, as far away from him as possible.

"It was only an accident, Remus. Those things happen…."

"And they always seem to conveniently happen when you're around. How does that work, Sirius?" Hatred dripped from Remus' words as he stood in annoyance. Words he had been holding in for the past seventeen years started to bubble up to the surface. Without his wife there to stop him, there was nothing to hold them back. "How is it that you are able to walk around free and happy knowing what you did to them?"

Indignant, Sirius stood as well, but will a little more composure. He didn't go about yelling like a raving lunatic. Instead, the man pushed back his overgrown hair and looked the other straight in the eye. "I have carried more remorse than you can ever imagine, Remus. What happened to Lily and James was, indeed, my fault. I know that, and I will never say otherwise. But it was seventeen years ago. That is a long time to remain mournful. I believe they have forgiven me and would want me to move on with my life. That is what I have done. I had hoped you would do the same."

Nymphadora reentered the room, startled into freezing in her tracks. She looked between the two men, praying to at god she wasn't even sure she believed in for this all to stop.

Sirius' words only made Remus that much angrier. His eyes flashed menacingly as he took a step closer to the man. "Who are you to say what they would want? You're the reason they are no longer here. You lost that right when you killed them."

There was something softer about the features of the man before him than how he used to know him. He looked like he had been through hell. There was the ghost of those hardships apparent in the wrinkles of his face. Remus tried to look past that to continue to hate this person who ruined the lives of so many. And just as he watched, he could see the way his words affected this grown version of the boy he used to know. They crushed him on the inside, as if he was returning back to the day it happened. Guilt-filled tears ranged down his cheeks now and he turned away, towards his partner. "You of all people…."

Wanting to protect his lover, Severus pulled Sirius closer to him. He wrapped his arms around the man gently, holding him and trying to instill peace in him. "Shh…."

Immediately, Remus blushed at the impact of his own words. He meant them all, but there was something awful about seeing Sirius like this. He wanted to take it all back and apologize. What was the use of that, though? He couldn't be a coward now.

"Remus, you need to leave. Now." Nymphadora rushed further into the room and started to clean up the crimson mess. She pushed at his legs, pushing him towards the door. Once again, he was being kicked out of his comfort zone for this couple. How was that right or fair?

Right now, though, his wife ruled the house. Anything she wanted was law. Remus shook his head and grabbed his coat. He pushed open the door, spitting, "Fuck you!" at the woman he loved and man he had once called friend. He'd had enough of this, anyway. They were all idiots. People he had known for so long... And he hated them.

But did he really?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Reviews fuel my muse! If you want me to keep up, please let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	2. I Watch You and I Can't Forget

**A/N: To the reviewers who were confused - EXPLANATIONS AHEAD!**

* * *

><p><strong>I Watch You and I Can't Forget<strong>

Was this seriously all he could afford?

There were puke stains on the carpet. The bed smelt of sex and defecation. It was impossible to even open the microwave without being accosted by molded burritos. And there was something off about the pillows. They were an unusual color and texture. Overall, this room was like a nightmare, and he hadn't even gone to sleep yet.

"I hate you, Sirius Black..."

"Right, he hates you, too."

Remus whipped his head around to look at the door of the motel. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the man in the doorway. "What are you doing here?" he spat, wishing the door would lock. Or close all the way, for that matter.

This was the last face he wanted to see on the planet earth right now. It was a face he could go without seeing for the rest of his life, really. It made his blood boil in unnatural levels just to see that smirk he remembered so well. The one he and James used to share...

Tears threatened to burst, causing another flare of anger to swell up within him. He turned away from his old friend and tugged at his hair. There was no way he was going to go through this again. Like he had every year on the same date.

From the side of the bed, he snatched up a bottle. It was ironic the way he was choosing to cope. Without any hesitation, he unscrewed the lid and took a long, hard swig. He shuddered at the taste, but didn't let that stop him. Another gulp was going down his throat just as he was getting over the taste of the gin.

"I'm going to say it again, Remus – It's been seventeen years..." Sirius stepped further into the cramped, foul room.

Seventeen years... Had it really been that long? It felt like just yesterday they were all happy together. All of them. Lily, James, Peter, Remus, and... And Sirius. At the same time, it seemed like ages ago that they could have been so comfortable even being in the same room as one another.

Because of his thought process, Remus didn't even bother to reply. He just glared up at the man, daring him to go on. Though he wished he wouldn't. What he wanted was just to be left alone in this horrid room for the night.

Scratch that – He wished he was at home with his wife in his own, at least clean bed.

Remus took another depressing drink from the bottle and settled on the off colored sheets. "Seventeen long years, you asshole. You have no idea what I have gone through."

"Let me stop you right there!" Sirius slammed the door behind him, hands on his hips. He went to sit but caught the look given to him, and reconsidered it. Instead, he took a seat on the dresser next to the television with a hole through the glass. "Since when are you so damn...angry? You're not the person I remember you to be. You used to be so much more relaxed. I think I miss that." He smiled gently, but it dissipated when he realized he was the only one even trying here.

All the response Remus gave was another tip of the bottle back into his mouth.

After a few minutes, Sirius gave up waiting for his former friend to say anything. He sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "Anyway...can I just say that you're not the only one who suffered, Remus?"

"You may not."

This was starting to get a little irritating. Sirius visibly collapsed into himself and rubbed at his temple. Did he deserve this? Slowly, he began to speak again, hesitant and waiting for an interruption. "Lily and James were not just your mates. And if you think that I don't regret what happened, you are sorely mistaken. I did my time for it, Remus. Trust me..." A look of haunted despair crossed his features. He glanced invitingly at the gin, but immediately thought against it. No doubt that would only make matters worse.

Remus looked up and caught Sirius in the glance. He held it for a moment, once more regretful. But this emotion passed as he tore his eyes away and muttered out, "You should still be in prison..."

"Even after thirteen years...yes, I probably should be."

Caught off guard, the other man raised his head of dirty blonde hair. He looked over the man he had blamed for everything. Apparently, he held himself responsible as well. "Well..."

Sirius raised a brow and waited for more of a retort. When it didn't come, he stood up and tried once again to sit beside his Remus. This time, he was allowed and smiled gratefully. "Remus, I know you hold me at fault for everything. And you're right to. My bad decision caused everyone pain. Poor Peter took his own life from grief... I wish I would have died along with all three of them."

"Then, by all means, go kill yourself. I'll provide the gun."

And that was the final straw. Sirius stood and leveled a look at Remus, judging the distance quickly between them. After only a second of consideration, he cocked back his fist and landed a punch right into the other's jaw.

Both of them were too stunned to say anything, let alone move. They stared at each other for an incredibly long moment of silence. Finally a connection they had nearly forgotten about was being restored. Between their gazes was an invisible line of friendship, slowly reforming. No matter how uncomfortable they were starting to get, the men couldn't force themselves to look away. Realization was dawning on them and they were unable to stop it.

"Ouch," Remus finally said, eyes shifting only slightly to look up at the other. Even though he had just been punched in the face, a smile was starting to pull at the corner of his mouth. And shortly after that, he was starting to laugh. Either that or he was crying. It was hard to tell which, since there were tears in his eyes but it sounded like he was chuckling.

Absolutely perplexed, Sirius sat down again and just stared at him. This wasn't exactly a normal reaction for someone who was hit in the mouth. "Remus...?"

The possible snickers turned into full on crying. Remus lay back on the bed and covered his eyes with a little too much pressure. The other gently rested his hand on his leg for comfort. "Don't touch me...please."

Sirius sighed and nodded, taking his hand back. "I'm really sorry. If only I could remember what happened that night...I think I could have some closure. And I could properly apologize to you and everyone else. But for now...this will have to do. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"...I told you not to go."

Something about the way Remus said this made Sirius feel even worse. He pushed his hair back away from his face, giving him more room to breathe. Or at least mentally. Gathering his thoughts, he once more looked at the man and let loose with a string of nonsensical apologies.

Remus stopped him with a wave of his hand and shook his head. "Just...stop for the moment. You can ask for more forgiveness later."

Nodding, Sirius let himself quiet down. He settled back into his seat on the mattress, staring down at his feet. Without babbling about how wrong he was, he had no idea what else to say.

The hush of the air made the motel room once more uncomfortable. The two men tried to think of something they wanted to let out, but found it rather difficult. Seventeen years of not speaking to one another had damaged all trust and friendship they had built before that.

After a half hour, the awkwardness was really getting to them. They peeked over at each other at the same time, and then averted their gazes straight away. Sirius cleared his throat, standing and going towards the door. "I'll get out of your hair, now, I suppose. You probably want to sleep off my annoying apologies."

Remus chuckled with only a small amount of actual delight. He found himself standing as well and following him. "It, uh...it wasn't that bad." He nervously ran his fingers through his hair and looked around the disgusting area he was forced to live in for the moment. Nymphadora had even called to make sure he knew he wasn't welcome home tonight. And probably wouldn't be for a couple nights to come. His bad behavior with their guests had apparently made an impact. Rather than getting his way, though, he was being punished with this motel that he couldn't even afford _one_ night in.

And, apparently, Remus wasn't the only one who noticed this. Having seen the sudden turn this relationship had taken, Sirius took advantage of the situation. He ran his fingers over the rotting wood of the door before opening it. "You know, Remus...this place really doesn't seem safe. There could be...asbestos in the walls or something. You really should stay in somewhere better than this..." His eyes rose to meet the other's, a silent pleading evident within them.

"Come stay with me."

Remus' eyebrows shot up, his head flashing up in surprise from where he was staring at the floor. "What?" This was a little soon... Sirius was expecting everything to be fine between them this quickly? Just because he had apologized over and over, that was supposed to be the end of it?

If this motel wasn't so revolting, it would have taken longer to consider the offer. "Yes. Thank you," he said hastily and slipped his shoes on.

Sirius smiled kindly and gestured towards a car parked just outside. "Come on, then."

He walked to the Bentley Arnage and unlocked the door. Remus looked on in appreciation, examining its deep red color. "Oh...wow." He looked up at his friend with a fully confident expression. There was no doubt that he wanted to go stay with Sirius now. If his house was anything like this car... "What do you _do_ for a living?"

With a chuckle, the other got into driver's side and started the V8 engine. "Get in, please." Once Remus was settled in the seat beside him, he backed out and began to drive. They took a road that headed out of town and into the countryside. As soon as they had cleared the traffic, Sirius looked over and said softly, "I own a motorcycle dealership and automobile repair shop. And Severus has a chemical engineering degree, so he helps me by developing new types of oil and such."

That was more than impressive. Eyebrows raised, Remus nodded and just listened. Both of them were successful men. And what had happened to him? He dropped out of university and now was a stay at home husband while his wife worked for little to none as a waitress at some dinky restaurant. Well, didn't that make him feel like an absolute failure? Clearing his throat, he watched the scenery go by. "That's great," he said a little stiffly.

"Tonks never did tell me what you do. Did you ever become that amazing teacher you used to work so hard for?"

Teeth clenched, Remus shook his head. Of course, he had to ask. Why couldn't Sirius just leave him feeling useless all alone? "Dora makes the money," he mumbled in the same tone as before.

"Oh...I see." Sirius could sense the sensitivity of the situation and let it be for now. He continued to drive them towards the house with only the roar of the engine for background noise. At some point, he became tired of the discomfort and turned the radio to a heavy rock station. Remus wrinkled his nose in distaste but kept still. There was no need to get upset with someone who was just trying to help him out for a few days. Or as long as it took for Nymphadora to get over this tiff of hers.

* * *

><p>The drive to Sirius' place took much longer than Remus had imagined. They apparently didn't live just down the road from the town where he was. Instead, it was about an hour and a half away.<p>

When they finally did reach the house, Remus' jaw dropped. He looked around the large estate and literally was speechless. For starters, the house was huge! Calling it a house was like an understatement, at least to him. It was five times the size of his and Nymphadora's cottage. It was three stories high, not including the basement. And there was even a garage with the same square-footage as the first floor of the house. To top it all off, a horse was galloping around in a wide pen behind the house.

Sirius parked the car in the garage, grinning having caught the look on his friend's face. He settled next to the various other priceless cars and motorcycles. After killing the ignition, he turned and nodded towards the direction of his home. "Don't be intimidated by the size, please. We just like...nice things. It's all mostly Sev's. Or came from his money. Whatever, just don't feel like we're one of those...better-than-those-who-are-lower couples. We're not..." He gave off a vibe of being a little uneasy, now.

"I'll try not to." Remus gave a sour look and slammed his door closed after him. "Just...lead the way to my room. I'm quite tired."

With a nod, the other man walked through the door that led from the garage to the house. After dropping his keys on the counter, he looked around. As they were driving, the sky had darkened. Now that they were standing in a kitchen, the two men started to feel the fact that they had missed dinner. "I'll show you to your room in a minute. I'm just going to grab something to eat. Want anything?" Sirius asked, pulling a container out of the fridge.

Remus shook his head, getting a peek of sunset rolls in the container. That actually looked pretty good. He had never had high-end sushi before, but that's sure what this looked like. To stop his glands from salivating, he had to turn away and bite his tongue.

Shrugging, Sirius popped a roll in his mouth and walked out of the large kitchen. "All of the bedrooms are on the second floor. Most are a bit of a mess because I guess I'm a bit of a slob. But I know the right one." He munched on his sushi with an excited moan, immediately turning red as he noticed he did it out loud. "Sorry. Severus is an amazing cook."

They walked up the stairs, Remus silent and feeling quite out of place here. He was in the home of a couple he really couldn't personally endorse.

A gay couple.

A gay couple that included his former best friend.

A gay couple that included his former best friend who he had hated earlier this day for killing two of his other good mates.

A gay couple that included his former best friend who he had hated earlier this day for killing two of his other good mates and was now settled down with someone they had used to hate back at boarding school.

After over analyzing what was going on here, Remus realized they were standing outside of a solid oak door. "Oh, thanks." He reached for the doorknob and glimpsed just a few feet down the hallway a tall, lanky man appearing from another room, wearing nothing but a towel. He blinked horrifically at seeing Severus in such a casual and unclothed setting. Just now, it seemed that the other man had noticed Remus' presence as well. He ducked back into said bedroom and nearly shouted Sirius' name.

"I'll be back in a moment. Make yourself at home." Sirius smiled nervously, running to his partner and closing the door with a snap behind him.

From where he was standing, Remus could hear the two talking heatedly. He sighed, turning the knob and entering where he would be living for the time being. Inside the room were a nice queen bed, dresser, writing desk and vanity. All of the furniture was a dark mahogany color that nicely matched the chocolate walls. To set it all off, a sliding glass door opened onto a nice balcony, overlooking the foot of the mountains they sat at.

"This is amazing..."

"I'm glad you think so." Startled, Remus spun to face the doorway. He smiled at Sirius and shook his head in disbelief.

Sirius set what was left of the sushi on the dresser. "Here, I saw you drooling over them downstairs. I have to go calm Sev down. He's not too happy..."

Sighing, Remus looked over at the food, and then back to the man. "It's my fault, huh? I suppose I should have guessed that." He picked up one of the rolls, sticking it in his mouth cautiously. An explosion occurred on his tongue as he chewed. He nodded, swallowing after ensuring that he liked the taste. "That is good..."

"I told you, S–"

"Yeah, I know. Severus is an amazing cook." Remus spat out the words with a touch of anger, hating the aftertaste of jealousy. Wait, not jealousy; that didn't make sense. It was something else that he just couldn't put his finger on. As he sat on the edge of a much more comfortable bed than the motel's, he looked up at Sirius and tried to peg him. It was so strange how he didn't even know this man anymore. They used to be so close. And now...he couldn't even figure out... "Why him?"

It looked as if Sirius had been expecting this question for ages. A weight lifted off of his shoulders as he settled right next to his friend. Surprisingly, he had a small, content smirk in his eyes as he began to explain. "After the accident...well, obviously I had to go through numerous trials as well as a sentence. Throughout it, no one was there. Peter came to tell me off and cry once. That was before, he...you know. But, you never visited during investigation or while I was in Azkaban prison. Nobody did during those thirteen years, actually. A lot of people blamed me and thought I got what was coming to me.

"But there was one person who surprised me. He came to actually see me out of the blue when I was...two years in. That was Severus. At first I was stunned and a little angry. I don't know why the latter, but I was. And... Well, we talked and he told me so many things that I couldn't even believe it all. Did you know he was in love with Lily? He was heartbroken by what I had done, but you know what? He didn't get...upset with me. He knew that the accident was just that. And because of that, we just...clicked. Sev started to visit me every two weeks. That's as much as he was allowed.

"After a while, something changed. I realized my gratitude for him was actually love. A very weird thing for me to find out about myself, but it's true. He helped me through so much and once I got paroled, he took me in to his house here. He gave me money to start my shop." Sirius shrugged as if that said all about it and laughed gently to himself. "Anyway, that's how it happened. Now we're married and going to adopt yours and Nymphadora's child. Great, no?" A touch of the boy he used to be was slipping back into his features as he lounged back on the bed with his elbows. He was suddenly cocky over his "amazing" relationship, just as he had been back at Hogwarts with all of the girls he ended up with.

Despite himself, though, Remus just couldn't feel happy for him. He snorted and shook his head, lying down upon the pillows. "That's crazy, Sirius."

Sirius stood and shrugged, heading straight for the door. "I know, but that's how it is. You asked, I answered. Sleep well, Remus." With a soft smile, he called to someone down the hall and disappeared through the door.

Even though he was restless from that story, Remus turned out the light and curled up under the covers. Weirdly enough, he slipped right into sleep, nearly forgetting where he was. But even in the dream world, he couldn't stop thinking about Sirius. The man he had hated just a short twelve hours ago was now someone he didn't want to be apart from.

_I hate you Sirius Black... Or I wish I could._

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews fuel my muse! If you want me to keep up, please let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	3. It Feels Like Fourteen Carats

**It Feels Like Fourteen Carats, But No Clarity**

"_Come on, Sirius! Drive us hooome!"_

_A hiccup came from the disembodied voice, causing Sirius to look around from where he was sitting. He smiled at the friend across from him and stood. Or, at least he tried to. The moment he got to his feet, they gave a wobble and he fell back down._

_With a strangled noise, the friend was now sat upon. He laughed, trying to push Sirius off._

"_Remus, you're so comfy." Sirius giggled and curled into the man more. He wasn't even trying to get up anymore. His eyes were closing and he gently whispered in his ear, "I think I'm too drunk...to drive. Let us stay here, just, just for the night."_

_Remus gave a laugh, and then pushed Sirius up and off of him. The other man landed on the floor, letting loose a little yelp. "Y-you'll be fine. Go drive Lily and James...they wanna get home to Harry."_

_Nodding, Sirius stood and managed to stay up this time. He began walking, attempting to find the other two. But, he was having a hard time keeping his eyes focused on anything, causing him to walk crookedly and run into the wall._

_From the living room, he picked up a bottle from the coffee table. "Demon little...wine bottle. You make Sirius clumsy. He not a clumsy person..."_

"_You're so fuckin'...wasted, Sirius. Ya sure you'll be, uh all right?" Even James could sense this was a little wrong. He didn't want to risk anything._

_On the opposition, Remus was trying to get them out of the door as fast as he could. He managed to wrangle them all together like cattle and towards the garage of his house. "He will be fiiine. This man is an ex...expert at...stuff. He's gonna get you home to your, um...precious baby. Little, cute baby boy." He shoved the keys into Sirius' hand, and then opened the door for them. "Fly away, birdies!"_

"_Remus...no more wine." Sirius handed Lily the keys and she stumbled over to unlock the beater. He then reached out and grabbed Remus tightly into a hug. "Do you trust me?" he whispered, or at least thought he did. It came out more as a normal volume level. When he pulled back from the embrace, his eyes were shiny and a little worried. He didn't think he could do this._

_But, Remus had faith in him. "You'll be fine, Sirius. You've done this, like...a bajillion times. Right?" He gently patted the man on the head and chortled._

_With a nod, Sirius took a step back from him. "Okay, if ya say so." He leaned in to kiss Remus on the cheek. But his lips missed, vision blurred, and connected with another pair. Gasping and giggling at the same time, he pulled back and covered his mouth. "Oopsies..."_

_It was like Remus was frozen. He just stared forward at the man, stunned. Honestly, he didn't know _what_ to say to that. Though it wasn't completely awful... Actually, it had felt kind of nice. Though, James laughing his ass off from the backseat of the car was not very welcome. "Shut it, you wanker! It was an accident!" Accidents were nice._

_Blushing and trying to avoid looking at Remus, Sirius stepped away from him. He nodded towards the road. "Should go, I s'pose..."_

"_Call me when you make it home," Remus rushed to say, suddenly feeling a bit of dread. He was starting to understand why James and Sirius were a little worried. Something about this didn't feel right... But he really shouldn't stop them. The babysitter wouldn't stay forever. He followed his friend, shutting him inside the car. The window rolled down and he smiled at the face that appeared before him. "Just remember to call me..."_

_Sirius nodded and turned the keep, the car rumbling to life. "Yep, will do. Happy Halloween, Remus." He winked, pushing the other away from the window and back towards the house. "Goodnight." The car pulled out of the garage and towards the road, disappearing from view after a few short minutes. He sighed and closed the door behind himself, leaning up against it with a soft sigh. Now was the time to wait, just to make sure they made it home safe. It would be fifteen minutes at most._

_Unfortunately, Remus was hit with a wave of exhaustion as he stood there. He slowly sank down to the floor, yawning wide. The phone wasn't all that far out of reach. He would be able to get it when it rang. But for now...damn, he was tired._

_He drifted off to sleep slowly, dreaming about that kiss. It was wild and weird...but kind of welcome. Sirius was a strange man, why had he done that...?_

_And how come he wasn't calling?_

* * *

><p>It was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream.<p>

"More like a nightmare." Remus sat up and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. He had slept awful all through the night. The foreign bed and foreign house didn't feel comfortable.

Sighing, he looked around the room. Light from the sunrise was pouring in through the door leading to the balcony. It was too early for the morning, though. He didn't quite feel rested. As he lay back down on the too comfortable mattress, voices carried over to him from another room. Apparently, no one else grasped the concept of sleeping in.

"Sirius, you really should shave. That scruff is unbecoming."

A snort shot out from Remus' nose before he could stop himself. Sirius had kept a bit of "scruff" on his face ever since they had graduated.

"Fine, I will."

With a shake of his head, Remus sat up again. He was giving in that easy? That didn't sound like Sirius at all. He was so different now... What had Snape done to him?

"Thank you. Now, come here."

A familiar, manly laugh coasted through the walls to Remus' ears. He narrowed his eyes, not liking the sound of it. It was too happy. Sure, he had the right to be content with his life if he wanted to. But, not...like this. Not compromising everything he used to be like.

"Mm, Sev, stop. I want to open the shop a little early today. And we need to wake Remus before we leave."

The door down the hall opened, and a few steps were taken towards his room. He lay back down, quickly covering up with the blankets again. But the person didn't come in. They were stopped by a second pair of strides before reaching their destination however.

"Sirius, just let him sleep. We will leave a note. Come back to the room...please."

Sirius seemed to hesitate a moment outside the door, then sighed and followed his husband back to their room. Even though they were two bedrooms down, Remus could still hear their all too blissful noises. Acid rose in his throat and he tried to block it out with a pillow. This was wrong.

He rose up out of the bed completely this time, hurrying down the stairs and to the kitchen. From here, the difference of levels made it harder to hear the two men.

If this was how every morning was going to be for the span of his time here, he honestly couldn't handle it. He needed to make things right with Nymphadora.

Having eaten only one roll of sushi last night, he was starving by now. The growl of his stomach told him so, at least. He looked around the kitchen, not really knowing if he should make his breakfast before Sirius said it was okay.

Because apparently he needed Sirius' permission for everything...

Chuckling at how ridiculous that sounded, Remus opened the fridge and looked inside. "Hungry?" His head whipped around so fast that he nearly got a crick in it. Snape was standing behind him, arms crossed as he watched his every move. With a clear of his throat, he merely nodded and shut the door. The other man sighed and made his way further into the kitchen. "I'll make you something, I guess... I have to make breakfast, anyway."

Remus sighed through his nose and sat down at the table. "Thanks..."

With no reply, the other man went right about making toast, eggs and bacon. It was eerily silent in the room, both of them stewing in their own thoughts. They both had so much they wanted to say, so many questions and chides. Except, they both respected Sirius too much too do anything about that.

Speaking of...

"Oh, you're up." Sirius walked in, dressed in a suit and tie. It was quite out of place for how he _used_ to dress. Remus was a little too shocked to say anything and just stared. His face was clean and hair was even pulled back into a ponytail. Actually...it looked quite nice on him.

"Remus?"

Deglazing his eyes, he looked up at Sirius and raised a brow. "Hm?"

"I asked if you slept well last night..."

"Oh, um...yes I did," Remus lied smoothly and avoided his friend's gaze. He instead stared very intently down at his shoes and became suddenly aware of his own clothes. The fact that he was wearing his clothes from yesterday, still. The ones he had slept in last night. They were dirty and old. Yeah, that was impressive. A little pink in the cheeks, he wiped a few stray hairs off of his pants.

"Padfoot, let's go outside!"

From down the hall, Remus heard the clicking of claws on the floor. A big, shaggy, black dog came running into the kitchen, wagging his tail excitedly. The man's eyes widened considerably as he looked down at the _thing_. He knew Sirius had always liked dogs, but this... This was more like a bear. An extremely excitable black bear in the middle of the kitchen.

Sirius guided the dog to the door and let him into the back. "Sorry if you don't like dogs. Padfoot is a real sweetheart. He won't harm you." Clearly, he had seen the look on the other's face.

"No...no, it's not a problem... Just explains all of the short black hairs everywhere. Including on me." Remus chuckled nervously, watching the canine frolic around outside, chasing butterflies. "He looks...nice."

"If it makes you uncomfortable, he can stay outside all the day."

"That's not good for his fleas, Sirius. He really should be inside, getting his medicine." Severus gave his lover a look; one that conveyed that he meant it.

The two exchanged glances for a moment before Sirius conceded and nodded. "Well, then you can just put him in our room. That's fine, too. Whatever you want, I suppose." He busied about making coffee, smiling over at Remus occasionally.

Remus caught these looks, starting to feel a little uncomfortable. It seems Snape had also caught onto these exchanges. He was getting glared at as well, now.

Once the coffee was made, Sirius poured himself some. He walked over to Severus, pulled him back from the food and kissed him gently. "See you after work."

"Sirius, stay. Sit down and wait for the food to be finished."

A challenging look in his eye, Sirius sat down next to Remus. He sipped his black coffee, clearly annoyed. Severus had been so forceful with his words. It was a little easier to see now why Sirius did everything he asked. For some reason, it was like he had no choice.

* * *

><p>After breakfast, Sirius left and left Remus and Severus alone in the house.<p>

Well, it was more like Remus was all alone. Apparently the other man had a laboratory up on the top floor. He left for it as soon as humanly possible and hid there for the whole of the day.

Truthfully, the other man felt more comfortable like this. He didn't like being alone in a strange house with someone he used to take part in tormenting. Well, maybe not take part. But he did stand by as it happened. It wasn't any surprise that he was hated for such a thing.

On top of that, after five hours, he was bored.

Remus had watched television, surveyed the house, looked at the horse, played with the dog for a little bit and ate lunch. His conclusion through all of that was that they had too many channels, the house was amazing, the horse looked inviting, the dog wasn't all that bad, and Severus was indeed an amazing cook. And afterwards, he didn't know what else he _could_ do.

"Padfoot...is this all you do during the day?" Remus asked the dog as they lay on the couch together. He had to admit, he was falling in love with this animal. "It's quite boring. I feel like I should be doing something. Like...cleaning or something." The dog looked up at him, like he was trying to convey that the idea was ridiculous. "You know, you're right. This isn't my house..."

As he looked around, the man glimpsed a phone in the corner of the room. A faint thought crossed his mind of calling Nymphadora. He had messed up yesterday. For that, he would need to apologize at some point. And maybe he should let her know that he was alright. She would like to know that, right?

Slowly, he crossed to the phone and picked it up. Just as sluggishly, he dialed their home number. His heart was pounding in his throat and suddenly he had no idea what he wanted to say. The moment he heard his wife's voice, he smiled and sputtered for something to say. The moment she realized who it was, however, the phone slammed back down on its receiver and he was cut off.

The grin slipped from his visage at this and gently set his own side down. "Maybe she needs a few days..."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Reviews fuel my muse! If you want me to keep up, please let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	4. One Day, Maybe We

**One Day, Maybe We'll Make It**

Somehow, during the course of the day, Remus had managed to fall asleep. He lay sprawled on the couch in front of the television, bored out of his mind. A good sleep did him well, though. When he woke up to Padfoot lapping at his cheek, it was like his mood had increased a hundred percent. He actually felt a little bit happy. The smell of a home-cooked meal and the fact that he wasn't making it was doing well to lighten his spirits.

Slowly, he rose up and gave the dog a pat on the head. He was a good animal. Padfoot followed him as he crossed to the kitchen. Snape was the only one there, frying something that looked like chicken on the stove. He didn't turn or even acknowledge that Remus was there. But the two were very aware of each other's presence.

The awkward, tense silence continued a good five minutes. The only thing to break it was the entrance of Sirius. The only thing the two of them had in common. And he was grinning from ear-to-ear, like he was a little boy with a special surprise. But the smile was not for Remus as he'd hoped for some reason. The man made his way straight to his husband, kissing him long and full. Bile rose again into Remus' throat, instantly turning his mood sour again. Something in him just...didn't like this affection between the two. It wasn't the fact that they were gay. That he could have cared less about. What was really getting to him was the fact that he thought he knew these two well enough in the past. It still shocked him to see that they could change so rapidly. It was wrong; so wrong it made him physically ill to see it.

Eyes narrowed, he turned and left the room.

Remus wasn't too sure what he was running from. It could have been a number of things. What he suspected was that he didn't even want to understand what was going through his mind. Didn't even want to start thinking about it. That scared him the most, really.

All these thoughts running through his head weren't healthy.

"Sev is going to a meeting tonight. That'll give us some time to...catch up."

Startled, Remus turned and looked at Sirius in the doorway. He still looked so...happy. Not cocky, brooding, or smug. Just happy, the exact opposite of what he himself was feeling right now. "Yeah...yeah, alright. Sure."

"Don't act so excited." Sirius sat down in an armchair, grabbing the remote and flipping to the news. "Remus, I'd like for you to lose that frown. It's giving you wrinkles."

"You're so queer."

Sirius looked up with ice in his eyes. Just like that, he was back to the vengeful little boy Remus knew and loved him to be. It brought a smile to his lips, despite the situation. "You think that's funny?" Sirius snapped, standing and crossing to his old friend. His arms were crossed, eyes narrowed dangerously as he came intimidatingly close. "Do you have something more to say on the subject, Remus? Because at this point, you're heading towards a very dark place. I wasn't angry at you before, but I sure as hell am now. Do it. Say something else."

Just like back in school, Remus found himself fearing Sirius with admiration. He had a hint of a smile still on his face, but at the same time his heart was pounding horridly. It was such a thrill. Just like old times.

As they stood there like that, a smirk grew onto Sirius' face. He eventually chuckled, taking the last step forward to punch his friend in the shoulder lightly. "Watch your mouth, Lupin. My husband and I are both quite vengeful."

It took a moment for Remus to smile, but when he did it was genuine. He found himself even laughing a little bit.

Just like old times.

"You're harmless. Deep down, you wouldn't hurt a fly. And Snape... Well, he's not exactly a bodybuilder." Remus' smile turned into a grin as he chided Sirius again. It felt so good. Despite all of the hate and hurt he had held for years, this felt right again. He was ready to forgive and forget now.

With a small chuckle and a shake of his head, Sirius stepped back and nodded towards the kitchen. "Well...my non-bodybuilder has made dinner for us. Let's eat?" He turned and disappeared into the other room with nothing more than a lingering chortle.

Remus would have followed that sound anywhere. It was almost hypnotic in its reverie. He stumbled after Sirius, grinning like a total idiot. When he sat at the table, it was like the third man wasn't even there. He only had eyes for the one he knew best.

They all ate in silence, but it wasn't awkward. They just didn't feel the need to speak. It was nice to just sit and enjoy being quiet for once. No fighting, and absolutely no worrying. It had been awhile since life had been like this. With Nymphadora, things were always a bit rocky. The stress made him cranky and tense all the time. Being away from her for this short while was already relaxing him. This didn't exactly help his case for staying with her. He felt bad about it, but feeling this serene was nice.

After dinner was cleared and the dishes clean, Severus left for his meeting. Sirius and Remus were again alone, and they found it very easy to reconnect. In no time, the two of them were sipping on fine wine and joking around. Just like nothing had ever happened between them.

"Remus, all jokes aside...I'm quite grateful to your wife."

It was the first time Nymphadora had been brought up all night. Remus wasn't all too sure how he felt about that. It brought him down a little bit, actually. He swilled the liquid in his glass a little bit before responding, then nodded slowly. "Why would that be...?"

Sirius took his time in answering as well. There was a deep furrow to his brow as he thought. He must have been trying very hard to say the right thing. In the end, though, it still brought a twitch to his friend's temple. "She forced you to talk to me. Without her, I'm sure you never would have thought to give me a second chance. Also...your unwanted child will make a great addition to our big, empty home. Though why you would want to give her up is beyond me. You always loved children, Remus. At least, that is the vibe you put off."

Remus sighed, setting down his glass with a little more power than intended. "Don't think you know me, Sirius. You haven't been in my life for seventeen years." In the quiet after his words, he thought over what he had said and felt he needed to add onto it. "I do like children. I want children of my own, even. It's just that at this moment, Dora and I can't really afford a baby. We can't even afford to keep our power on some months. The cost of medical expenses alone would cripple us. So, it saddens me to have to give our baby away to someone else, but what can I really do about it? Just by the look of your house, I can already tell that you will give her a better life than I could ever dream of."

There was no warning to the returning action. Sirius flung himself at Remus, hugging him haphazardly. He didn't say a word, just held his friend tightly, as if that would fix everything. The other man didn't know what to do, so he just sat there, eyes wide. A part of him wanted to hug back and try to find some solace for his feelings. But the rest of him shouted obscenities, wanting to beat this man to a pulp for wanting to take something he so dearly loved. Since he couldn't decide which emotion overcame the other, he merely sat there.

After a while, Sirius got back his senses and backed off slowly. He didn't stray far, though. Remaining sitting next to Remus, the man muttered softly, "I don't want to steal your child from you, Remus. But I am happy to give her a better life."

Everything was eerily silent after that. Neither of the men knew what to say because they didn't want to reveal anything more personal about themselves at this time.

"How about some dessert? Hm?" Sirius was the first one to break into the solitude, standing and corking the wine. They'd had enough for the night. "I have some ice cream in the freezer. Come help yourself." He headed back into the kitchen, leaving the other to stew for a few moments.

Remus' head was now filled with all of those worries again. He felt a stress headache coming on and pressed his fingers deep into his temples to stop the throbbing. He just wished things could be easier. But since they couldn't...ice cream sounded pretty nice.

"Hey, Remus? Remember when we were in school? We had that ice cream social at the end of eighth year, right? Do you remember how we took our ice cream and smeared it over Peter's face? Told him it would help clear that awful acne he had? He must've sat like that for two hours at least before some teacher corrected him. And by that time...well, it dried and looked like someone blew a load all over his pudgy face." Sirius smiled but the light didn't really touch his eyes. He was over-thinking things now. "That boy was so easy to pick on... Poor kid..."

Remus gave a nod and pulled a couple bowls down from where he had seen them before. "He was a good kid." He watched as the other scooped frozen vanilla into the dishes, a single tear falling down his cheek. _He feels so responsible..._ Gently, Remus placed a hand on his shoulder to console him. "Hey..." Bravely, he reached up to wipe away the tear. "Do you have whipped cream?"

They both laughed for reasons they didn't even know. "Yeah, it's in the fridge. Spray can in the door," Sirius said, shaking his head and pulling out spoons for their ice cream.

With a smile, Remus pulled the can out of the refrigerator. He walked over, uncapping it and spraying a little onto each portion. When he was finished, though, he didn't stop. He brought it up to his friend's face and replaced his tears with a spray of cream on his cheek.

It took a moment for Sirius to even react. He merely stared up at the other, eyes wide and unsure of what to do with himself. A slow, creaking noise came out of his throat, but otherwise there were no words. It was like he was completely frozen. Therefore, Remus took that opportunity to be spontaneous. He didn't even think before making his next move. Slowly, he leaned forward and ran a stripe with his tongue through the sugary topping.

Somehow it tasted sweeter to him than any dessert he'd ever had before.

This was why he backed away quickly, hitting the wall with a hollow thud. He had hoped this would be a good way to escape. Unfortunately, he didn't anticipate Sirius following him. The man came close, pressing up to him, searching his eyes for any sort of meaning he could find. Now, Remus wasn't exactly sure what sort of vibes he was putting off. But whatever they were, Sirius must have found assurance in them.

Next he knew, a foreign pair of lips was crushing his own. What surprised him the most about it, however, was that he found himself kissing back like his life depended on it.

Somehow, it did feel that way. He was worried if he removed himself from this amazing man, he would never be able to breathe again. It scared him how alright he was with this feeling.

The men moaned simultaneous, rushing to get their heated bodies to make closer contact. In a matter of seconds, shirts were torn open and pants unbuttoned. All caution was being thrown to the wind, being replaced by stilted breath and aching erections.

"S-Sirius... Sirius, hold on. We really ne-"

"Sh...," Sirius whispered, placing a finger over Remus' inflamed lips. He didn't want words to get into this moment and mess everything up. It felt so perfect just as it was. Why change it with a few questions? It was better to just slowly push them towards the living room couch, fondling him just enough to cloud his eyes.

Everything about their nasty deed was sloppy. The two of them wrestled out of their clothes, groping like risky teenagers. They fell onto the cushions and Sirius took no time at all in beginning to prep him. His fingers worked expertly, rough at first but gentle and probing as he got more into it. Remus was very hesitant about this whole thing, but it all felt so good he couldn't say 'stop'. His whole body felt like it was on fire. It was the best, most passionate experience he had ever. Nymphadora didn't have magic fingers like those so deep inside of him right now. "More...I need more...," he panted, covering his eyes because he was already seeing stars.

With a wolfish grin, Sirius pulled his fingers out, moving to replace them with something much bigger. "Be careful what you ask for, Remus," he chuckled. They fell over the edge of reason with one single thrust, screams and grunts of pleasure and pain mixing together deliciously.

It didn't take long for their mess to be visibly sinful. There was more pent up sexual energy between the two than either of them realized. And when they finally did burst, it was like an absolute explosion. Literally. The two of them couldn't even move in the end, covered in each other's various fluids. They didn't even try to leave the embrace they had on that couch, lying in each other's arms, completely blissed out.

This was perfect.

"Remus...this was wrong...," Sirius finally muttered, playing with his sexual partner's chest hair. He didn't sound like he regretted anything. But there was a definite sad tone to his voice.

With a shake of his head, Remus dislodged the other man from him by sitting up. "Yeah...that was way out of hand. We, uh, we need to...to never do that again. So...so stop kissing me."

Sirius frowned, grabbing for his clothing and slipping them on. "You do know that you started it, right?"

"Actually, _you_ started it, Sirius. Seventeen years ago."

Immediately, Sirius' face hardened as he rounded on the man. He wiped a stream of cum off his chest, discarding onto a tissue with a vengeance. "Are you seriously bringing that up again? Remus, I thought we were past that. I had hoped, at least."

Where the other was angry, Remus was grinning like a fool. He teasingly pushed Sirius' shoulder to try and get him to lighten up. "You don't remember anything from that night, do you?" He took a moment to laugh at a past memory. "Before you left that night you...you kissed me."

Sirius stared at him, dumbfounded. Obviously, no, he didn't remember ever having done such a thing. A panicked look crossed his face, causing him to have to sit down. "You're joking. Fuck, Remus... Look, it doesn't matter, alright? We can't ever do this again. You need to go back to Tonks. She's your wife. And Severus is my husband. We can't betray them over some boyish lust. It's best to forget anything ever happened."

"Right... Right, you're absolutely right." Remus redressed as well, hiding the hurt in his eyes. He wasn't sure why he was so alright with what had happened. He hadn't felt like this since he was a boy. Just like an inexperienced teenager, he was bashful and his heart was racing faster than he assumed was normal. How had he gone from hating this man to whole-heartedly loving him in the matter of a single day? It was unreal. It was definitely not normal. And it was making him a little bit scared for his future.

"Yeah, this was juvenile. Nothing happened at all. Come on, our ice cream is melted so we should probably try to salvage at least a little bit of it."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know it's been a long time since my last update! It took me a long time to write this chapter because I wasn't exactly sure of what direction I was going in. So hopefully it turned out well! Let me know what you think and hit me up with them reviews!**


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